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About Bob
Basic Information
Name: Robert Paul Horne a.k.a.
Bob
Date of Birth: November 21, 1985
Age: 23 but acts 63
Height: 6'4" or 6'5"
Weight: 220+ lbs and constantly
increasing
Body Type: Uncoordinated, unhealthy,
and unattractive
Ethnicity:
Extremely white / Caucasian
Religion:
Christian but he prefers the term Catholic
Hair Color: Brown with a million white
specs (dandruff or lice we don't know)
Eye Color: Blue with crooked glasses
Facial Hair: Practically non-existent,
but he tries anyway
Body Hair: Mostly on his man boobs
Sexual Preference: Gay, until
he proves otherwise
Status: Single, unless you count pets
Education and Work
Job: Walgreens '08-present
College: Ivy Tech '05-present
Business Administration
High School: R Nelson Snider High School '01-'05
Personal Information
Interests: women, bowling, Family
Guy, Mythbusters, stimulating conversations, booze, the pursuit of knowledge, Comedy Central, CSI, the Blue Collar Tours,
Lewis Black, Dave Attell, Dave Chappelle, Conan O' Brein, The World Series of Poker (WSOP), and other things that intrigue
me.
Favorite Music: rock preferably, 92.3 The Fort,
Oldies 101.7, jazz and blues. Also Channel 9905 on Dish Network, 1803 Bluegrass, 1805 Classic R&B, 1812 Classic Rock,
1827 Solid Gold Oldies, 1829 Jazz, 1830 Blues, 1831 Reggae on FIOS TV.
Favorite TV Shows: Late Night With Conan O'Brien,
Family Guy, My Name Is Earl, The Office, Frasier, Mythbusters, South Park, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Chuck, Life,
30 Rock, Monk, Psych, Sanford and Son, Insomniac with Dave Attell, The Critic, and Futurama
Favorite Movies: Shawshank Redemption, Con Air, Clerks & Clerks 2, The Rock, Ocean's 11 and 12, Harold and Kumar Go to
White Castle, Old School, Eurotrip, Knocked Up, Super Bad, Pineapple Express, Amistad, Waiting, Monty Python movies, The Longest
Yard (the original and the remake), The Warriors, Hotel Rwanda, Million Dollar Baby, Crash, The Crew, Fat Albert,
Cocoon, and Made in America.
Favorite
Books: None yet so far
Facts
- He does not yet have his license to operate an automobile.
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He hates eggs so much that he hides from them.
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His heroes are Martin Luther King, Richard Pryor, Morgan Freeman, and Dwight
D. Eisenhower (one of these names is not like the other).
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He can't smell other peoples' flatulence.
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He never
wears shorts, ever.
-
He can sound exactly like
the radio when he sings, or more accurately he thinks he can.
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He wants to have six children, three vaginally and three adopted, and plans to keep
all of them if his significant other leaves him.
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He can mimic any accent, but some how it always sounds racist.
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His dream job is to own a bar and a resturant, in two seperate buildings, not a
bar and resturant combined.
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He never seems to shit at his own house every where we go he always has to go the
bathroom and take a shit.
-
He must be immune to the powers of alcohol because he will decline being drunk
every time.
-
He breathes loudly when he is ready to leave, then he claims he is just breathing.
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If he gets even a drop of water on his shirt it must be dried right away, unless it is
rain because rain is natural and there is nobody to blame except for nature.
Quotes
Quote: "Was that your keys? What... your belt?!? ...
YOU MOTHER F*CKER, I am not your F*cking child! You are not my father."
Explanation: Outside of Steak 'n Shake Nathaniel whips Bob with his belt when he isn’t looking then he
quickly hides it causing Bob to become confused and think he was whipped by keys from someone who is standing three feet away.
Quote: "See if you ever see me again."
Explanation: After Bob got pissed off he threatened to never talk to any of us again.
Quote: "Only faggots do that."
Explanation: From the 1st Bob Remix video.
Quote: "Oh, a push up!!!"
Explanation: We tried to talk Bob into doing a push up because we didn't think he could do it, but I think he
thought we were talking about a sit up because he started to sit down and we made fun of him for not knowing how to do a push
up, then he said the quote.
Quote: "I'm a racist."
-Bob Horne, March 3, 2007 10:48 PM
Quote: "I'm sexist."
-Bob Horne, March 3, 2007 11:16 PM
Quote: "That makes me gay."
-Bob Horne, March 4, 2007 12:36 PM
Explanation: I some how tricked him into saying these three quotes, at least that is what he wants you to believe.
Quote: "Jokes on you, I can't smell other peoples'
flatulence."
Explanation: Nathaniel farted on Bob and apparently he cannot smell other peoples farts so the joke was on Nathaniel.
Quote: "Take that f*ckers!"
Explanation: Cousin was trying to fart on Bob to recreate the scenario above when Bob let out a huge fart and
said the quote.
Quote: "Sugar Dick."
Explanation: Bob was attempting to make fun of Nathaniel, but ended up giving him a cute nickname.
Quote: "Go play with your shiny golden dildo."
Explanation: When we were sitting around laughing at something Bob had done his only come back was this quote.
Quote: "And you're not HOW!?!"
Explanation: After I made some gay comment Bob was attempting to say "And you're not gay how?!?" but he left
out one key word.
Quote: "Mercy me."
Explanation: While playing a drinking game that Bob was not very good at and having to drink for like the fifth
time in a row Bob let out this quote.
Quote: "Keith has a shopping mall up his ass."
Explanation: The only way Bob knows how to make fun of Keith is by claiming that he has a shopping mall in his
ass or the following quote...
Quote: "Remember when you used to be fat."
Explanation: Because Keith was a little over weight in high school Bob thinks it is okay to make fun of him
for that now whenever somebody calls him fat.
Quote: "You can't do it, you can't took."
Explanation: After Bob attempted to do the moonwalk and failed miserably,
I made fun of him and he responded by saying this quote and walking away like George from The Jeffersons. And for some reason
"took" is how he pronounces "talk."
Quote: "I'm jerking you off, Keith."
-Bob Horne March 11, 2009 10:59 PM
Explanation:
Keith made a comment about Bob jerking off a picture of a dick that Bob drew and Bob’s response was this quote.
Quote: "I
attract all the fags."
-Bob Horne March 14, 2009 6:48 PM
Explanation:
We were sitting around Bob's facebook when he got a friend request from someone he didn't know, Cousin tried to tell him it
was probably some one he had a class with at Ivy Tech and I think Bob responded by saying something about the guy being gay
because he attracts all the fags.
Quote: "I'll
grab your dick."
-Bob Horne March 14, 2009 7:55 PM
Explanation: I did not really see what was happening at this point but
Cousin was messing with Bob probably trying to hit him in the balls or something
and then Bob said this quote.
Quote: "You're my lover, faggot."
-Bob Horne March 17, 2009 10:07
PM
Explanation:
I have no idea.
Quote:
"I touched your penis."
-Bob Horne March
28, 2009 11:47 PM
Explanation:
It was either to Keith or Nathaniel after one of them claimed Bob touched the freshly painted wall.
Quote:
"F*ck you, bitch"
Explanation:
It may seem like a normal phrase, but the high pitched tone of Bob's voice when he said it makes me laugh every time.
Quote: "If
you talk to my mother, there is a 2-5% chance of me performing sexual acts on you."
-Bob Horne May
15, 2009
Explanation:
?
Quote:
"I could have danced longer, but I would have set the place on fire because
my dance moves were so hot."
-Bob Horne May
16, 2009
Explanation:
?
Quote: "Dammit
Blubaugh, you got the pickle on my shirt, you asshole"
-Bob Horne May
17, 2009
Explanation:
?
Quote: "I
hope this doesn't activate the poo!!!"
-Bob Horne May
17, 2009
Explanation:
While pissing in a powerade bottle in the car on the way back from Canada.
Quote: "I'll knock your dick
over."
-Bob Horne June
28, 2009
Explanation:
Bob was sitting on a large ball and Cousin said he was going to knock him over, and this is what Bob chose to respond
with.
Quote: "Your name is Shit Face
and Poop Pants."
-Bob Horne July
5, 2009
Explanation:
I was laughing because Bob kept dropping a ball in the pool while trying to throw it and he felt judged so he said this to
me.
Quote: "The only d I'll s is
a Jell-o d."
-Bob Horne July
8, 2009
Explanation:
Somebody asked Bob if he would s their d, but he declined and explained that he would only s d's made of Jell-o.
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